


Jim Kirk is Mine

by JuxtaposeFantasy



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Rough Sex, dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-31
Updated: 2013-05-31
Packaged: 2017-12-13 12:51:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/824503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuxtaposeFantasy/pseuds/JuxtaposeFantasy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim wants McCoy and Spock. McCoy and Spock can't stand each other but can't resist Jim. Things are going to get rough. Find all of my gay novels at www.triciaowensbooks.com!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. McCoy

**Author's Note:**

> I originally envisioned this as a three-parter but I ran out of steam. I thought some of you would still enjoy the lead-up, so I'm posting the first two chapters.

McCoy considered himself a good student and a good officer. He believed he was a good father when given the chance, and he knew he was a damned good doctor. He was good at following the rules that needed to be followed and good at knowing when to break them. It would be argued by some that he was not a good friend, but the only people who would say such a thing weren't worth being friends with in the first place. He was good at knowing who to place his trust in.

But one thing McCoy was not good at was forgiving. He blamed it on the divorce and on losing his daughter. He was now like an old tree. He had trauma embedded in his core that couldn't be removed. If you wronged him, well, he wasn't about to forget it anytime soon.

So it boggled his mind that Jim got along with Spock as well as he did. As far as human-Vulcan relationships went, theirs was probably unique in the universe. Jim joked with the hobgoblin. Jim clapped Spock on the back and patted him on the shoulders. Jim included his first officer in conversations in the mess hall that would probably have been more entertaining without Spock's contributions. 

It was obvious to McCoy, if not to anyone else, that Jim was making a concerted effort to develop a friendship with the Vulcan. Jim seemed to have forgotten -- or more likely forgiven -- his marooning on Delta Vega and enthusiastically moved on to the challenge of becoming Spock's friend.

It was admirable, something to aspire to. It showed what kind of person Jim was. But McCoy wasn't Jim, and he sure as hell wasn't ready to forgive Spock for the way he'd treated his best friend. Jim could easily have died on that barren ice cube of a planet and yet Spock had shown no remorse for putting their future captain in that situation. For all he knew, Spock had never even apologized.

Knowing whether Spock regretted his actions would have made a difference in how McCoy thought of him. It was something he probably should have asked Jim at some point between the destruction of the Narada and the development of his sexual relationship with Jim. Fucking Jim Kirk, however, quickly became all McCoy could think about. And certainly the last thing he wanted to dwell on was Spock, that green-blooded bastard.

Unfortunately, he couldn't hide forever. Reality intruded while they were in the captain's quarters, naked and doing their best to break the bed. Jim, sweat-shiny and chest heaving as McCoy hiked his knee up so he could slide deeper into his ass, moaned, "You'll never guess who wants in my pants."

McCoy was fairly positive that the majority of the Enterprise crew wanted in Jim Kirk's pants, but it didn't take much guesswork to figure out who the last person should be.

Not wanting to talk about it -- not even think about it -- he doubled Jim over and sank his cock into him another inch deeper. Beneath him, Jim moaned, hands scrabbling overhead to brace himself against the headboard. His neck arched as McCoy corkscrewed into him, using his body weight behind his thrusts to make sure Jim took all of it.

The little gasps that Jim couldn't hold back -- didn't even try, really -- were enough to clear McCoy's mind of everything but the here and now and the man writhing beneath him. Muscles flexed in Jim's triceps as he pushed back against McCoy's thrusts, meeting him with equal force and yet somehow managing to yield beneath him like softened butter. When Jim came, it was with a sudden rush of breath, almost as if he'd been caught by surprise, his eyes widening before clenching shut as shudders tore through him.

It was always easy to give in after seeing that, and tonight was no different. McCoy thrust inside him a handful more times before he stilled and succumbed to his own release. Breathing heavily, he slowly withdrew and rolled to the side so he wouldn't crush his friend.

Jim turned his face -- cheeks sex-flushed and blue eyes luminous -- and grinned at him. McCoy waited for the inevitable compliment. Instead he got, "It's Spock. Can you believe it? The guy has a sex drive, Bones!"

Of course McCoy could believe Spock had a sex drive. Others might be fooled into thinking the Vulcan was cool and controlled, but McCoy possessed the memory of an elephant and the prickly senses of a paranoid schizophrenic. He remembered how Spock had acted at Jim's hearing, how petty he'd been in bringing up Jim's father. Later, when Jim had burst onto the Enterprise bridge to convince Pike that they were flying into a trap, Spock had looked murderous and resentful. And then there was the whole beating the crap out of and choking Jim on the bridge. A model example of an emotionless Vulcan, Spock was not.

So this news about Spock being interested in Jim -- yeah, McCoy could see how it could have happened. Besides revealing outbursts of emotion, Spock was an elitist. Of course he would recognize that Jim was a brilliant tactician and in many ways superior to more experienced captains. Spock would be drawn to that genius and rare courage. It fit in with McCoy's private belief that Spock was a collector of the best: Uhura, who was the best cadet in his class, and now Jim, the best captain to hit Starfleet.

"How do you know he wants to fuck you?" McCoy grumbled as he drew a sheet over them both before collapsing beside Jim. "He wears the same damn expression no matter what's going on around him."

"Because in the turbo-lift earlier today, he suggested that he and I spend some time together coordinating our working styles. He said we would function more efficiently as a team if we understood each other's methods." Jim yawned and rolled his head against McCoy's shoulder. "Sounds to me like he wants to bend me over something and make me scream."

McCoy snorted, but the muscles around his spine tightened. "Only you would come to that conclusion."

Jim yawned again and McCoy couldn't help rubbing his back. "Forget about the hobgoblin, Jim. Go to sleep."

"'e's not a goblin," Jim murmured, his voice fading as he drifted into unconsciousness. "Sexy..."

Though McCoy had been teetering on the precipice of sleep, he suddenly found himself wide awake and with a throbbing headache. Not even the smell of Jim in his arms or the comfortable warmth of his body could ease the anger that began to smolder low in his belly.

~~*~~

He should have anticipated that Jim wouldn't let it go. Persistence and the belief that he couldn't fail had driven Jim through the majority of life's challenges and pushed him past those no-win scenarios. Yet even McCoy, who knew Jim better than anyone else did, was shocked speechless when Jim pushed him back against the recently closed door of the captain's cabin and whispered into McCoy's ear, "Spock is joining us tonight."

He really should have seen it coming. All week Jim had been dropping hints that he was up to something.

"Hey, Bones, did you ever wonder if Nyota gives Spock hand massages?"

"Hey, Bones, do you think Vulcans have sensitive ears since they're all pointy like that?"

And the most damning question which McCoy mentally smacked himself for not reading clearer:

"Hey, Bones, do you ever think back to when Spock was choking me?" The question had been accompanied by Jim rubbing his throat while staring absently through the window of the observation deck. "He's really strong, huh? I had no chance against him whatsoever."

That should have set off klaxons, because if there was one thing McCoy had learned about Jim was that he got off, powerfully, to being manhandled in bed. It would probably shock those who'd never slept with Jim, since Jim projected confidence and control in his role as the captain. Maybe that was why he was the opposite in bed. He would push and challenge McCoy enough to get him going, and then surrender to him so completely it made McCoy ache sometimes to hurt him, just to see how far Jim would truly allow him to go. 

Apparently it was pretty far if Jim had been fantasizing about Spock choking him again. McCoy searched Jim's face now and saw lust there but also something unreadable, which could be a dangerous thing where James T. Kirk was concerned. 

"So what are you saying?" he asked slowly, already knowing the answer but hoping maybe this time he'd gotten it wrong.

Jim licked his lips and touched the side of McCoy's neck. "Just like I said. He's going to join us tonight. To talk."

McCoy snorted. "Yeah, right. To talk. Tell me another one."

Jim grinned. "If you already know, why are you asking me, Bones?"

Because McCoy didn't understand when the game had changed. He and Jim were in a relationship, a monogamous one as far as he could tell and he did trust Jim. Jim could be reckless and thoughtless when it came to his own safety, but he wasn't a liar and he never intentionally hurt anyone, ever. It was what made his crew -- and yeah, McCoy -- love him. 

But if Spock was coming over to 'talk', that meant there'd be three of them in Jim's room. At night. After shift. When there could be only one logical -- though McCoy shuddered to use the word – purpose for such a gathering since the three of them weren’t friends.

McCoy fisted his hands in Jim's shirt and reversed their positions, shoving him against the cool metal.

"What the hell are you thinking, Jim? Spock? _Spock?_ The Vulcan nearly killed you. Twice!"

"Well, to be fair, Bones, Delta Vega wasn't meant to be a life-threatening --"

"The hell it wasn't!" McCoy took a deep breath. "I don't like what he did to you, Jim. I sure as hell don't like that he's never said a word to either of us to apologize for what he did."

Jim just shrugged as if his near-death hadn't mattered, as if no one -- not even McCoy -- would miss him if he were gone. It made the anger churning in McCoy's gut metastasize to his heart.

"It's water under the bridge, Bones. Besides, I think the fact that he wants me proves he's okay with me being the captain now. And you have to admit he's been a damned fine first officer so far."

But that was just it -- Spock had been perfect, meticulous and as reliable as clockwork. Machine-like. Inhuman. How could that appeal to someone whose blood ran as hot as Jim Kirk's did? Jim thrived on adrenaline. How did someone as alien as Spock provide adrenaline?

And that was the answer right there. Jim knew what a human lover was like, had conquered that particular experience. Now he wanted to test alien waters, so to speak.

McCoy forced his fingers to uncurl from the command gold and started to back away. Jim hooked his leg around the back of McCoy’s thigh and kept him in place.

"What's wrong, Bones?" Jim gave him a crooked, mischievous grin. "This'll be fun. You can't tell me you've never wondered how Spock is in bed."

"Yes, I can," he ground out. "He's a damned Vulcan. I'm not attracted to Vulcans."

"Take away the pointy ears and he's a good-looking guy. Well, the haircut's gotta go, but besides that he's attractive. And have you ever looked deep into his eyes, Bones? I mean really deep, like when he's concentrating on something. He's intense, man. It almost scares me sometimes."

McCoy bet it had scared Jim numerous times, but much like a roller coaster had the capacity to scare, Jim wanted to experience this thrill again and again. He was addicted to challenge and danger and Spock, being both non-human and a former competitor, probably provided Jim with plenty of fantasies of both.

"He's not my type," McCoy growled, meaning it with every cell of his body. He looked over Jim. "I like pretty boys who should know when enough is enough. Who need to shut up and be satisfied with who they're already with before they get their asses spanked."

Jim sucked in his breath, pupils blowing wide like a pair of newly forming black holes. It was gratifying how quickly and easy it was to distract him and steer his thoughts to sex. It was as if he was hardwired to respond to any innuendo or come-on that came his way.

"Oh, I'm more than satisfied, Bones." Jim gazed up at McCoy from beneath his thick, dark blonde lashes. He really was the most beautiful thing McCoy had ever seen, and half of Jim's beauty was in his attitude. The energy in him that said he welcomed any experience, that he wanted to _live_ and _feel_. The very curiosity that was threatening to wedge Spock between them.

"Then show me, kid," McCoy replied. He reached up and ran his fingers through golden hair. "I want to feel that pretty mouth wrapped around me."

"I think that can be arranged." Jim draped his arms over McCoy's shoulders. He leaned in and brushed his lips lightly across McCoy's, causing invisible sparks to burst between them. "But wouldn't it be even hotter, Bones, if I were sucking you off while Spock fucked me from behind?"

Red flashed behind McCoy's eyes. He hadn't felt such jealousy in a long time. Not for years, because it had been years since he'd possessed anything that anyone else would want. But now he had something wonderful, and that something wonderful was asking him to share.

Jim, his eyes closed as he gently nibbled on McCoy's lips, didn't see his expression and that was for the best. Jim wanted what he wanted, and McCoy had yet to deny him anything, even if it resulted in god-awful hangovers the next day and wishes for a merciful death. He wasn't stupid. In order to keep the best thing in his life, he had to keep that best thing happy. That meant never saying no.

Not even when his tongue burned with the urge to scream it.

"I'm not one for sharing, Jim," he admitted. "I've always been a selfish bastard." 

"But this would be for you, too, Bones."

The sad thing was, Jim really did believe that. He'd mentioned it often back at the Academy when he tried to coax McCoy into expanding his horizons. For Jim, sex led only to happiness and pleasure, and he wanted McCoy to experience that, too. But McCoy could do without the generosity this time, thank you very much.

He cupped Jim behind the neck and pressed their lips together, choosing action over words to plead his case. He pushed his tongue into Jim's mouth and groaned when Jim opened wide and easily for him, a ready receptacle for invasion. He imagined Spock in his place, thrusting his Vulcan tongue over Jim's and teasing his palate, bringing out the same soft moans that McCoy could bring out of him. The rage swelled again. McCoy broke away, panting.

"It's not like I'm leaving you for him," Jim assured him softly as they rested their foreheads together. He caressed McCoy's shoulders. "But if this bothers you, Bones, I'll turn him away. It's probably a big risk anyway, getting involved with my two most senior officers. I'm thinking too much with my dick."

"Yeah, you are," McCoy agreed, "and it wouldn't be the first time." Then he heard himself say, "Don't send him away, kid. If this is what you want --” that pang was an ulcer forming, he was positive, "--we'll give it a shot."

Jim's eyes turned incandescent and the look on his face made McCoy fall in love with him all over again. "You sure you're okay with it, Bones?" The question was laced with so much hope that McCoy couldn't have refused him anything.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I guess you're right. I've always wondered what the hobgoblin has hidden in his pants. I bet it's green or furry. Glad I'm not going to be going anywhere near it."

"Are you sure?" Jim whispered in a husky voice as he rubbed against McCoy. His cock was a hard rod of steel against McCoy's hip. "I think it'd be hot to see you two going at it."

McCoy would rather be marooned on Delta Vega in his underwear. He barely managed to keep his expression and voice level as he replied, "No thanks. I'd prefer to be sitting on the sidelines and watching while he chokes you."

He said it deliberately, and got the response he wanted. 

Jim's breath hitched and his eyes flew wide open. "How do you do it?" he breathed as the pulse in his throat fluttered madly. "No one turns me on like you do, Bones. No one."

The reaction stoked McCoy's own fire and massaged his bruised ego.

"Is that what you hope he's going to do?" he whispered roughly, watching Jim's cheeks wash with faint pink color. Maybe this could be okay. Maybe he could use this to his advantage. He lowered his voice to the fuzzy burr Jim couldn't help responding to. "You want him to choke you as he's fucking you, Jim? Hold you down just like he held you down on that bridge, rip your clothes off and slide up inside you while you gasp for a breath you can't take?"

"Bones..." Jim shuddered against him, his fingers clutched tight in McCoy's shirt.

McCoy thrust his thigh up between Jim's legs. He pushed it against the hard mound of Jim's erection. "Ride me," he ordered softly as he pinned Jim to the door.

Jim's head rolled back as he humped McCoy. It gave McCoy plenty of golden throat to lick and bite as he continued with the dirty talk.

"I bet you'd love it if he fucked you on the bridge in front of everyone." McCoy sucked at his skin, raising the blood, leaving his mark for Spock to see when the Vulcan, God forbid, made his way to the same spot. "You always were an exhibitionist."

"God, Bones..."

"Yeah, I know what you like, darlin'." He savored the shudders jumping through Jim's body and the way he bit his lip when McCoy reached down and ran his palm up Jim's erection, measuring how steely-hard it was. "I'll always give it to you, too."

Jim's response was incoherent. McCoy smiled. It was a feral smile that he wasn't sure he would want Jim to see, but he couldn't help feeling possessive while he had Jim unraveling like this. To everyone else, Jim was competency and strength, able to juggle a hundred variables at once. But here, when they were together, McCoy could break him down to single word replies and mindless physical responses.

He pushed his lips against Jim's. While they kissed, he reached up and curled his hand around Jim's throat.

When he squeezed, the reaction was instantaneous and startling. Jim bucked against him and let out a garbled moan. A whimper tickled McCoy’s lips. Beneath McCoy's palm, warm dampness blossomed through the front of Jim’s trousers.

"Damn, Jim." McCoy's entire body vibrated with lust. He massaged Jim's cock, urging every last drop of semen out of him, watching as Jim's face contorted and his mouth fell slack. "Come on, darlin'. Give me everything you got."

"Nnnh," was Jim's response, his eyes rolling back in his head, hands push-pulling against McCoy's shoulders like a cat flexing its paws.

"Just a little more," McCoy coaxed, because wringing Jim out like this was a huge turn on for them both. He reached lower and squeezed Jim's balls very lightly. "Give me the last drop."

Jim bucked again and finally shoved McCoy's hands away. He collapsed back against the wall, head lolling to the side. He smiled drunkenly as he cracked open his eyes. "Bones..." 

Blood pounding in his ears, McCoy managed a rough chuckle. "If you could see yourself right now."

"Yeah, but I can see you and you're fucking sexy." Jim licked his lips. "Let me take care of that for you."

Still smiling, he slid down the wall until he was on his knees before McCoy. "Just look at you," he breathed as he gazed at the lump in McCoy's pants. "I want all of that." Without another word, he pulled out McCoy's cock and wrapped his thick lips around the shaft.

McCoy didn't expect to last long in that hot suction and with Jim Kirk's brilliant blue gaze looking up at him, daring him to thrust. McCoy took that dare, burying his hands in golden hair and fucking deep down Jim's clutching throat. He held the back of Jim's head and thrust twice before spilling inside. Panting, he braced one arm against the wall as he slumped over Jim and continued to push slowly in and out of Jim's mouth. He shivered as Jim licked the sensitive head for the last welling drops.

_No one turns me on like you do, Bones._

Except Jim had said it after fantasizing about Spock choking him.

McCoy wiped his expression clean when Jim rose up, but it wasn't necessary. Jim crushed their mouths together and McCoy gave in to it helplessly, tasting himself on Jim's tongue.

Jim finally broke away and gasped, "He should have been here by now. I guess something came up."

"Too bad," McCoy agreed, although he thought it strange that Spock hadn't contacted Jim to let him know he wasn't coming.

Jim's mouth finding his again convinced him to forget it. He had Jim all to himself and that was all that mattered. Groaning, he pressed Jim to the door and vowed to keep it that way.


	2. Spock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally envisioned this as a three-parter but I ran out of steam. I thought some of you would still enjoy the lead-up, so I'm posting the first two chapters.

"Captain, forgive me, but you appear distracted this evening."

Kirk sighed. "Spock, we’ve been over this. If we're going to play chess in your room like friends, you're going to call me Jim."

Spock nodded solemnly, privately pleased.

Jim studied the board with clear disinterest. "And yeah, I'm definitely distracted. Sorry if it's spoiling the game. I guess I'm not much competition tonight."

"The game is merely an excuse for us to interact in a social setting, Jim. I do not require it if you are uninterested in continuing."

"Yeah, maybe not." Jim sighed and lounged back in his chair. It was a standard issue chair, but he somehow managed to make it appear as though it was the most comfortable chair in the universe, which Spock knew it was not. "It's just -- something funny happened last night and I'm having trouble wrapping my head around it."

Spock folded his hands together in his lap. "Perhaps discussing the matter might help you to understand it."

Jim eyed him. "It's kind of personal."

"I understand. I do not wish to intrude."

"No, I'm okay with it, and I think Bones would be, too, but I was concerned more for your sake." Jim flashed him a boyish grin. "I know that most human relationship issues bother you."

"They do not bother me so much as I fail to understand the need to assign emotion to conflicts which would be more readily resolved without them."

"Because fighting gets you hot and bothered and then you get to have make-up sex. Every couple does it, Spock. I guess you and Nyota agreed on everything, huh?"

"Yes," Spock agreed. "We did."

"Oh." Jim laughed. "I guess that was a bad example then."

Spock waited, but it appeared as though Jim intended to remain silent on the issue. That was unfortunate. Jim would undoubtedly be surprised to learn that Spock held a great deal of interest in him. He found the man to be an interesting paradox. Jim's determination to avoid protocol should have disturbed Spock to the point of dislike, and yet those same unorthodox responses to situations never failed to bring about a positive outcome. In short, he should not have liked Jim Kirk, but he did.

He was also aware that he was not the only one who did.

"Jim, I reiterate my offer to be a sounding board. Perhaps discussing the matter which is bothering you may alleviate some of your aggravation associated with it."

Jim's eyes flicked up to him, a brilliant blue that Spock found addictive after having come from a planet where every eye color was brown.

"Thanks, Spock. That's very generous of you. I hope I don't make you regret it."

"I do not regret," Spock replied. "There is no point."

"Yeah, but knowing that and doing it are two totally different things." Spock watched him idly twirl a chess piece between his fingers. "Last night, I told Bones that you wanted to sleep with me." He glanced up at Spock and smirked. "Regretting it yet?"

Spock's hands, held out of sight beneath the desk upon which the chess board sat, curled into fists. "Why would you tell Dr. McCoy such a thing?"

Jim shrugged. Spock found it interesting to note that Jim did not look embarrassed for having made the claim. Nor did he seem to have recognized that Spock had not issued a denial.

"I thought it might work him up a little. I do that, FYI."

Spock tilted his head. "F-Y-I?"

"For Your Information." Jim leaned back, no longer making a pretense of holding an interest in their game. "I say or do things that get Bones worked up and then he takes it out on me with angry animal sex. He always realizes afterwards that I was just winding him up, so he doesn't hold it against me. But for some reason he really took it to heart when I said you wanted to join in."

Spock's spine stiffened. "Pardon me, Jim, but I believe you said that you told Dr. McCoy that I desired to sleep with you. You did not say anything about 'joining in', which suggests that I hold an interest in both you and Dr. McCoy." Spock's heart was pounding, a curious sensation since he was in neither a flight nor fight situation.

Jim finally looked sheepish as he ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, well, that just sort of came out at the end. Sorry about that. I thought for sure he'd blow up on me and get all jealous. Bones does jealous sex really well. But, you know what?" His laugh was strange. He glanced up at Spock from beneath his lashes. "He ended up going with it. He talked dirty to me. Told me how hot it would be to watch you choking me while you fucked me. Er, had sex with me."

Spock's lungs fluttered shallowly. It seemed he'd forgotten how to do his meditative breathing. "You are referring to erotic asphyxiation. I was not aware that this particular sexual interest appeals to you."

"It's called a kink," Jim said breezily. "And I didn't realize it either until, well, you introduced it to me." His cheeks took on a pink tinge before he dropped his eyes to the chess board.

Spock took his time in replying. He understood very clearly that something important could take place in this room and he did not wish to act unwisely.

"You and Dr. McCoy are in a committed relationship," he said distinctly. "A committed relationship precludes the possibility of introducing outside partners."

"I would have thought so, too, Spock. But Bones was all for it. I'm not about to argue with him, either. If he's game for including other people, so am I."

Spock released a long breath. "Indeed."

Spock kept his expression neutral but with great effort. Jim had no idea what a gift he had just presented to him, because surely Jim didn't realize how much Spock coveted him.

Dr. McCoy presented a conundrum to Spock. On the one hand he was an excellent doctor and was an asset to the Enterprise in that capacity. On the other, McCoy didn't bother to hide his antagonism towards Spock and used his relationship with Jim to see to it that Spock spent very little social time with the man and even less private time. 

McCoy seemed to think that by virtue of his relationship with Jim, he alone held the captain's best interests at heart. Spock found it frustrating that the doctor was basing his possessiveness of Jim on a friendship, and an odd one at that, for Spock had frequently overheard the doctor verbally abusing Jim, although Jim seemed not to mind and apparently found many of McCoy's insults humorous. Their relationship was strange and grew from shallow roots. It was the complete opposite of the relationship that Spock shared with Jim. 

As a pang of sadness hit him, he reached out and moved a piece on the board, though he knew the game would not continue. He needed the slight reassurance the movement gave him as his thoughts turned to his mother.

When he had lost her during the destruction of Vulcan, Spock had experienced a depth of emotion he had not known himself capable of feeling. It had cracked open the Vulcan shell surrounding his soul, allowing further emotions to burst free. 

At first these emotions were aggression based: anger, resentment, frustration -- and all focused on Jim. But after he had attacked Jim on the bridge, and after he had spoken with his father about the truth of his relationship with Spock's mother, Spock had discovered there were other emotions waiting to escape his soul. The first had shown itself when Jim had looked him in the eye after Spock had expressed his intentions to beam aboard the Narada and told him, "I'm coming with you."

Spock had been shocked -- though of course he hadn't revealed it. But more striking, he had felt a gratitude he had never had a reason to feel. Humans were poor at disguising their feelings, and Spock had seen on Jim's face a determination to not only bring Nero to justice and possibly rescue Captain Pike, but to help Spock avenge his people. It had humbled Spock and intrigued him greatly.

That feeling of gratitude multiplied once they were aboard the Narada and were immediately attacked. The chance of their survival appeared to be slim and growing slimmer, and yet Jim showed no regret for making the decision to accompany Spock. In point of fact, it was Jim who bolstered Spock's lagging confidence aboard the Jellyfish.

But the moment of truth, the moment when Spock's feelings toward Jim Kirk became embedded in his psyche, was when Spock steered the Jellyfish into a collision course with the Narada.

 _Ambassador Spock..._ the computer had said, _If the ship is hit, the red matter will be ignited._

"Understood," was his reply. A simple confirmation that he was initiating the end of his existence.

Afterwards, when he was briefed by Starfleet high command about that decision, he could tell that the Admirals believed he had chosen to sacrifice himself in order to destroy Nero. They'd been impressed by his courage and selflessness and considered him a minor hero. 

It would forever stick in his mind that not one of them had questioned where Jim Kirk had been at the time of his decision. In fact, Jim had still been on the Narada. Spock had known that when he made his course decision. He had made the decision of death for both of them, and in the split second it had taken him to decide that, he'd made Jim Kirk his own. Jim had become his to kill.

Thankfully, they'd both survived, but Spock hadn't shaken that single moment of awareness. He expected Jim to ask him about it afterwards, maybe to joke about how kind Spock was in choosing to kill them both. But Jim, nor anyone else, ever mentioned it. No one seemed to appreciate the magnitude of what Spock had done.

Ever since, Jim occupied a space in Spock's heart and soul shared only with the memory of his mother. Spock had been unable to save his mother, but he held Jim's life in his hands and it gave him a curious sort of comfort. It bound him to Jim in a way he had yet to be bonded to anyone else, even Nyota, with whom he'd attempted a sexual affair which had swiftly dissolved after Jim became captain of the Enterprise. Spock was incapable of sharing affection with anyone else while Jim remained a presence in his life.

And now this. To hear that Jim had suggested inviting Spock to have sex with him and Dr. McCoy was both the most wonderful thing Spock had heard in many months, and perhaps the worst. For while Jim could apparently be his, Dr. McCoy remained an obstacle.

But Spock was confident he could remove that obstacle in the time he was given. The odds were very good, in fact. He stood, catching Jim's surprised attention.

"Are you kicking me out?" Jim's laugh sounded nervous. He stood, also. "I guess I said too much. Here's another acronym for you, Spock: TMI. Means Too Much Information."

"You have not shared too much information," Spock informed him as he came around the end of the desk so he stood within Jim's personal space. He catalogued the widening of Jim's pupils and the sudden acceleration of the visible pulse beating at the base of his throat. The sudden light sheen of sweat on Jim's face was a positive response, as well. "You have piqued my interest and presented an outcome I had not dared to hope for."

Jim's eyes widened. "You mean you want --" He broke off and shook his head. "Look, I know what I said and everything, but I still have to run this by Bones, first."

"You said yourself that he agreed to multiple partners. He even spoke to you of my preferred role in the event."

"The dirty talk, yeah." Jim's excitement was easy to see despite his attempt to backtrack. "That was said in the heat of the moment, though. Bones would --"

"I am uninterested in hearsay about your other lover."

"But --"

Spock placed his hand on Jim's shoulder, high up near his neck. Jim's face registered dread, as if he realized what was about to occur. Without a second thought, Spock applied specific pressure with his fingertips.

Jim's knees buckled, dumping him into Spock's waiting arms. He carried Jim to his bed and there proceeded to strip his captain of his clothing. As each garment revealed another limb and section of Jim's body, Spock's desire for him grew. Jim was truly an attractive human. Perhaps if Spock had been fully Vulcan he might not have seen Jim for what he was, but thanks to his human side Spock understood enough to feel a great deal of lust for the man before him.

When Jim was completely naked, Spock paused to admire him. It would be encroaching on the captain's dignity to molest him while he was unconscious, but having just nerve-pinched the man, Spock deemed them past the point of no return. He swept his hand across Jim's golden chest, caressing his cinnamon-brown nipples. He combed his fingers through the light trail of hair leading from his flat, muscled belly. Jim's cock was soft and as sleepy as its owner. It rested comfortably in Spock's hand, prompting him to bend down and close his lips around the silken tip.

He sucked on it for a few minutes, savoring its slightly salty taste, admiring how it plumped between his lips as he stimulated it. He released it before Jim became fully hard. He preferred to have the captain awake and aware when Spock pleasured him.

From his closet he withdrew a red silk sash used in Vulcan ceremony and used it to tie Jim's arms behind his back, wrist to elbow. It thrust Jim's chest out slightly, which Spock found agreeable since Jim carried excellent musculature there.

As he left Jim lying slightly on his side on his bed, Spock removed his own clothing and folded it to set it beside Jim's. Naked, he bent down to Jim again, considering. With only a moment's hesitation, he parted Jim's legs and slid his fingers up behind the man's scrotum. He tested the pucker hidden between Jim's buttocks with surprise. Not only was it looser than would be expected, but it felt as though the channel within had been lubricated. Spock cocked an eyebrow as his suspicions were confirmed. Combined with the revelation that Jim was aroused by dominating behavior, Spock's heart began to beat faster, pushing aggression through his veins.

The Vulcan side of him could be passionate. Violently so, which was why their kind took such pains to suppress it. He allowed some of it to leak through, indulging in his dominant side as he lifted Jim off the bed and turned him so he sagged in Spock's arms, facing away.

Spock lifted Jim's weight off the floor easily, and held the man against him, chest to back. Jim's head lolled backwards. His body took on a slight curve as the primary point of contact between them became Jim's buttocks and Spock's hips. The angle wasn't sufficient so he raised Jim's body higher and used his own legs to part Jim's. He calculated the position and lowered Jim until his anus rested against the tip of Spock's erect cock. The puckered opening of Jim’s rectum just barely began to stretch around it. Shifting his grip so he held Jim around the waist with one arm, Spock reached up and closed his other hand around the juncture of neck and shoulder on Jim. He pressed his fingers down.

Jim startled awake, head lifting. "Wha --"

Spock loosened his grip around Jim’s waist. Jim's body slid down, gravity impaling him on Spock's cock.

"Ahh!" Jim cried out. He whipped his head back, his back bowing and his legs kicking out spastically as his own body weight forced him down the considerable length of Spock's cock.

Uncertain how far sound could carry beyond his quarters, Spock covered Jim's mouth with his hand to muffle his further cries.

"Jim, you are aware of what is happening to you and who is doing it to you?"

Jim's breath gusted fast and hard through his nostrils. His entire body trembled like a live wire, his anal muscles convulsing in waves as his body fought to become adjusted to the swift, thorough impalement.

"Jim, I repeat: you are aware of what is happening to you and who is doing it to you?"

After a few moments, Jim nodded his head although Spock could feel the violent pace of his heartbeat through the thin skin stretched around Spock's cock.

"You are aware that you are safe and no permanent harm will come to you?"

The pause was longer this time, as if Jim was carefully considering his answer. His body continued to tremble. Shocky twitches passed through his body. He finally gave Spock a wary nod of the head. 

Satisfied that he had the captain's trust, Spock walked to the full-length mirror in the room, abandoning his usual graceful stride for a jarring one that bounced Jim on his cock with each step. Jim whimpered, legs flexing around Spock's hips, ankles trying to hook behind Spock's thighs in an apparent attempt to find leverage.

Spock stopped before the mirror and waited for Jim's eyes to focus on what the reflection showed them. When Jim finally saw how he looked -- chest pushed out because his arms were bound behind him, hips taut and legs curled backwards, Spock's supporting arm around his waist -- he emitted a long, low groan against the palm of Spock's hand. Jim's cock wasn't erect yet, but it gave a visible lurch as they both watched.

"Jim, I am inside you in a way that is physically difficult for an adult human male to replicate with another adult male. Because of my superior Vulcan strength, however, I am able to maintain you in this position upon me indefinitely."

Jim's breath speeded up and he tried to shake his head, but Spock's hand over his mouth constricted any movement.

"The average Vulcan penis is 5.78 centimeters longer than the average human male's. I will claim with a high degree of certainty that you have never been placed in a position which allows the degree of penetration that I have achieved in your body at this moment. Therefore it is safe to assume that I am now reaching places inside your body, Jim, which no man -- not even Dr. McCoy -- has reached before. Do you agree?"

Jim's reply was another groan while the skin of his upper chest turned a dull red. Spock watched with satisfaction as Jim's cock swiftly rose to a horizontal position before settling at an appealing 62 degree angle to his body.

"It arouses you to hear that I have penetrated you this deeply," Spock murmured. 

Jim shut his eyes. His muscles rippled with a shiver. 

"It arouses me to know that I am touching you in places no one has before," Spock admitted. "I desire you greatly, Jim, and wish that I had been the first to penetrate you."

Jim's nostrils flared. He moaned softly against Spock's palm. Reading this as a positive response, Spock used his grip around Jim's waist to lift him several inches until only the head of Spock's cock remained inside him. Then he dropped him, using Jim's own body weight to impale him again. Jim's eyes shot open. His cock jumped sharply against his belly while a short cry bounced off Spock's palm.

Spock lifted him again and dropped him. Lifted and dropped, each time driving his cock as deeply as it could possibly go into Jim's body and causing Jim to let out a continuous moan. 

Spock was showing off, he knew that. Such a display would be frowned upon by other Vulcans. It could be argued that what he was doing to Jim, penetrating him in such a fashion, was a mating ritual. Spock was exhibiting his strength and sexual prowess to his mate, proving to Jim that he could protect him and please him. Jim might be a Starfleet captain, but he was still a human, and therefore more vulnerable than many species. He could benefit from an alliance with a member of a stronger species, such as a Vulcan, even one of mixed blood.

In truth, however, Spock simply wanted to impress Jim. He'd spoken the truth: this was something McCoy wouldn't be able to do. There were many things, in fact, that Spock could do to Jim to provide him pleasure which McCoy, lacking knowledge, strength or stamina, could not. Spock needed Jim to understand and appreciate those differences.

"By the constriction of your anal muscles and the rigidity of your penis, I would estimate that you are nearing your orgasm," Spock commented.

Arched like a bow against him, Jim let out a groan of confirmation. His eyes were half-lidded, his face bathed in sweat. His nipples stood out as hard knobs against his heaving chest and his cock was flushed dark red. Each time Spock impaled him, he shuddered and a bead of moisture bubbled up from the head of his cock and slid down the shaft like honey.

"When I ejaculate inside you," Spock said, allowing his voice to roughen, "I will do so at a great depth. Indeed, Dr. McCoy will most likely find evidence of my trespass upon your body days from now when my seed leaks from you. Perhaps you will feel it leak out of you while you are seated in the Captain’s chair."

Jim's moan took on a plaintive note. His tongue curled against Spock's palm. Spock studied the gleam in Jim's eyes and made a decision. Still covering Jim's mouth, he reached up with two fingers and pinched the man's nose shut.

Jim clenched around him, pulling an involuntary moan from Spock. Jim's eyes were a wide, panicked blue above Spock's muffling hand. Every muscle in his body stood out in impressive detail as he struggled to free his nose and mouth.

Spock held him easily as he continued to lift and drop Jim, forcing shudder after shudder out of his captive body.

Seconds grew into a minute. Then two minutes. Jim's struggles grew frantic. He writhed on Spock's cock, which only intensified the pleasure for Spock. Unable to control himself any longer, Spock lifted Jim up a few inches, holding him suspended, and then thrust up into his dangling body. Jim's legs bounced beneath the force of Spock's hips as if he were riding a bucking horse. His face turned red and his lashes fluttered madly. His cock remained impressively stiff.

Watching him closely, Spock fucked him for ten more seconds that way until, right when Jim's eyes began to roll back into his head, he lifted his hand off the man's mouth. Jim's head jerked up and he drew in a loud, gasping breath as if he'd swum up from the bottom of an immense ocean.

"Spock..." he gasped.

It was, to paraphrase the expression, music to his pointed ears. Still holding Jim upright and impaled, Spock strode to his desk. He swept the chess board off the surface to the floor, his desire for neatness and order supplanted by a desire for his captain. He lifted Jim off of him.

"Oh, fuck," Jim groaned when Spock left his body with a loud pop.

"It is not over yet," Spock informed him and then slung Jim onto the cleared desk, careful not to let him land too heavily on his bound arms. Looking down into Jim's still somewhat dazed eyes, Spock felt desperation rise in him. It wasn't the golden clarity he'd felt when the transporter beam had failed to teleport his mother to the pad from Vulcan. This was wrapped up in something he recognized as greed. He desired Jim for himself. Seeing Jim laid out, blonde hair lanky with sweat, legs spread loosely around Spock's hips, cock leaking and quivering against his flat belly, Spock understood and acknowledged how Dr. McCoy could be possessive of this man. 

But Spock could be possessive, too. Dr. McCoy did not deserve Jim. Dr. McCoy did not ache for Jim the way Spock did. Dr. McCoy did not know what it felt like to hold a vibrant man’s life in his hands and choose to end it, not attempt to save it.

"You are mine," Spock said softly. Lifting Jim's right leg up alongside Spock's hip to tilt the man's hips up, Spock thrust himself inside again. As Jim gasped, Spock carefully wrapped the fingers of his other hand around Jim's throat.

Jim gave a garbled groan. Spock didn't need to hear it to know how much Jim was enjoying this method of intercourse. He could see it in Jim's eyes and in the sharp rigidity of his cock. Squeezing his fingers tighter, Spock slammed into Jim's body with more force than a human could apply. The violent thrusts would have shoved Jim off the desk long ago where it not for the hand around his throat, choking him and pinning him down.

Just as Jim was about to lose consciousness, Spock eased his grip. As Jim seized a desperate breath, Spock shifted his grip to Jim's cock and stroked it swiftly. Jim arched up off the desk with a cry as his seed spurted up his chest and hit him beneath the chin. Two drops spattered across his neck, which was already showing bruises.

The sight was the last stimulus Spock needed. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself a groan as he pumped his ejaculate into Jim's shuddering body. It took several seconds to empty himself, his hips still pumping, and each second felt more wonderful than the last.

Finally, he opened his eyes with some trepidation. Some could interpret his actions as worthy of a court martial. He had taken Jim with dubious consent. To his relief, Jim smiled up at him as if he were under the influence of narcotics.

"Jesus, Spock," he croaked in a rough voice. "That's... one for the record books."

Spock smiled. He knew how to, but it wasn't often that he wanted to. Now was certainly one such occasion. "I am glad you are pleased."

"Hell, yeah." Jim winced. "But -- don't think I can… walk." He slurred the words and his eyes moved in a faintly circular pattern as if he wasn't completely certain of his location. "You seriously... worked me over."

"I will assist you."

Spock helped him to sit up and then freed his arms. Jim winced as his arms flopped forward so Spock massaged his shoulders until his expression eased.

"Should I call Dr. McCoy to assist you to your quarters?" Spock asked, a rare vindictive thrill shooting through him at the thought.

Jim, elbows on knees, head hung between them as he caught his breath, laughed hoarsely. "Definitely not doing that. Just -- help me get dressed."

"Do you wish to clean yourself, first?"

Jim waved him off. "Just need my clothes."

Spock had a reason to smile again, although he did not let Jim see it this time. 

He helped Jim re-dress and walked the slightly dazed man to the door.

Jim didn't turn around as it slid open for him. "See you around, Spock," he mumbled as he stumbled out into the hall.

"Goodbye, Jim."

Spock wanted to watch Jim stagger down the hall, just in case he encountered Dr. McCoy. Spock wanted to see the good doctor's reaction to Jim's condition.

But Spock refrained, allowing the door to slide shut. He would not show his hand. He would have to satisfy himself with the fantasy of Dr. McCoy's reaction. He hoped it inspired the same jealous rage that the hickey on Jim's neck had inspired in him.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my site if you want to know more about me and my writing http://www.triciaowensbooks.com


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